I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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