Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize