apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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