I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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