Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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