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Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
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