I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
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Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
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The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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