Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Girls should come with a carfax report
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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