yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize