im drinking this country out of the recession.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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