I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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