I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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