Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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