He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
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Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
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Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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