What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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