plz talk dirty to me
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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