remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize