Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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