u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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