really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
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Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
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I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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