I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize