At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
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you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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