His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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