I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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