This girl is more easily done than said...
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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