My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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