Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize