So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
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I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
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And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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