Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
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you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
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I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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