I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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