Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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