The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize