my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize