he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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