my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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