I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
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The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
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I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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