I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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