Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
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Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
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I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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