on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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