Nicole vs. Life
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize