Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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