Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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