You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize