You're so nebulous sometimes
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
where are my eyebrows?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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