No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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