So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
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Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
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I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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