I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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