I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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