Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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