this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
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Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
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Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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